Together Is Better: The Undeniable Magic of In-Person Work

**This piece was originally published by The Portland Business Journal on December 6, 2023.

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Put this on blast: in-person work is an X-factor and a huge competitive advantage – today more than ever.

While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for every individual, team and organization, I’ve come to terms with the fact that some form of in-person connection (ie: people working in the same room together), whenever feasible, offers a huge advantage for individuals, teams, and organizations of all shapes and sizes. It’s an absolute x-factor. Perhaps it’s kind of like broccoli: you may not always like it, but it’s hard to deny broccoli is good for you.

To be clear, I’m not here to debate remote work versus in-person, versus hybrid or anything like that. All options are reasonable to explore and try, depending on the role, function, core values, workplace culture, etc. I’m simply making a case for the tremendous upside in-person connection has on teams and organizations.

We’re one year into our latest evolution of a hybrid work concept at my company and I’ve learned a ton. While 30% of our staff work remotely spread across the country, 70% of our staff are based in Portland, Oregon where our HQ is located. These folks work in-office, in-sync with their respective team one day a week, while some choose to come in more frequently, and leaders work in-office 3-4 days a week. Teams sync-up for weekly meetings and other internal rhythms, while our distributed (aka remote) team members Zoom-in regularly.   

What I’ve observed over the past year has been nothing short of mind blowing. Every day, without exception, I witness some kind of “magic moment” – and it’s the kind of stuff that can’t easily happen working remote through screens. I observe people going out for coffee, taking walks and having lunch together. I witness teammates tackling challenges in an organic, impromptu manner – whether in passing, in a conference room or in the kitchen. Perhaps the best part – there’s unexpected social, creative and intellectual “collisions” regularly happening before and after meetings, or while making coffee – magic moments that aren’t possible working remote through glowing screens. Once you see it in action, you can’t unsee it. It’s pure magic. It’s special. It’s a clear competitive advantage. And as a leader/nerd, it’s super cool to witness.

Apparently I’m not the only one feeling the impact of this “together is better” phenomenon. A recent MIT research study found that social bonds between co-workers is critical for innovation, creativity and team chemistry — and is best cultivated by some measure of IRL, in-the-same-room connection. Whether working in-office once a week, once a month, or even once a year, in-person connection creates powerful opportunities to deepen chemistry, build trust among teammates, boost creativity and innovation, and create a special kind of magic that simply isn't possible working through glowing screens and messaging apps. 

Marmoset HQ // November 2023

An organization's purpose and values can be a helpful compass for finding the best approach. My company is a Certified B Corp and our stated purpose is to “Be Community.”  In 2023 alone, our people got on airplanes every month, taking more than 30 in-person trips across the globe, traveling far and wide, to build authentic face-to-face connections, including more than 300 in-person client meetings. Throughout the year we threw parties, hosted learning events, community and industry mixers, plus all of the typical kinds of internal happy hours, quarterly All Hands, and annual retreats you can imagine.

Real human connection is the center of who we are. And objectively speaking, we’ve experienced healthy year-over-year growth in 2023. The impact is real.

Remember that old saying, “there's no i in team”? Contemporary business genius Reid Hoffman once quipped, “No matter how brilliant your mind or strategy, if you’re playing a solo game, you’ll always lose out to a team."   If one’s primary case for remote work is all about you – your individual comfort, your commute, your preferences or personality type, your productivity, your boundaries, and all of your personal needs – I would encourage you to take a beat to reflect.

Sure, you’ve eliminated your commute and can work in sweatpants, run errands and take personal appointments with less hassle. But what kind of chemistry and energy are you building with your team? How many unexpected creative and intellectual collisions are happening before and after meetings, or perhaps in the kitchen? Are you able to have passionate conversations and share new ideas on the fly? Are your new hires learning by osmosis – by just being in the same room and overhearing conversations? Are you satisfied living within the limits of a glowing screen, supported by digital calendar reminders telling you when to talk, who to talk to, and what to talk about?

If you truly believe in the impact derived from building strong teams and culture, consider the possibility that what's best for someone individually might not always be what’s best for the team. The world’s highest performing teams always have a “team first” mindset.  "Talent wins games, but teamwork wins championships." - Michael Jordan

There's also something to be said about growing a career through in-person connection. Whether we're talking about co-workers, clients, bosses, industry networking, future opportunities or the broader community, there're so many advantages to getting into the same room with people. Yes, especially early in one’s career – but IRL connection is equally impactful for seasoned professionals too.

As teams and companies emerge from a long season of a pandemic-induced remote work world, perhaps the most important concept that needs to be put on blast is the tremendous advantage of getting into the same room with other humans. While there’s no prescriptive, right or wrong way to do it, it’s a clear competitive advantage, today more than ever. 

So simple, yet so easy to miss in a modern world.

- RW

**This piece was originally published by The Portland Business Journal on December 6, 2023.

Marmoset HQ // November 2023

How To Wake-up From The Matrix

As I type this, I’m on a three-day solo retreat in the Columbia River Gorge. It’s an annual ritual I’ve developed over the years to find some space, reflect, reset and redefine my habits, goals and intentions for the year ahead. 

In other words, it’s how I wake-up from The Matrix – the mindless trance most of us are trapped inside of, due to a constant deluge of inputs, feeds, streams and the nonstop stimulus to our souls. Thanks to works like Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, I’ve become acutely aware of how humans aren’t good at slowing down, being quiet and embracing the wonders of solitude. Some have even argued solitude is becoming extinct. 

To be clear, taking long walks with your earbuds in isn’t solitude. Long drives while listening to music, podcasts or audiobooks isn’t solitude either. Spending a lazy Saturday afternoon alone on the couch while binge-watching Friends or soccer isn’t solitude. Enjoyable? Sure. Solitude? No way. 

Solitude is best defined as “freedom from inputs from other minds.” Props to Georgetown University Professor and leading thinker on minimalism, Cal Newport, for distilling it. In his research, Newport discovered regular doses of solitude are crucial for the effective and resilient functioning of your brain. 

During my annual retreat ritual, I block out all possible distractions and inputs, reflecting and thinking deeply about who I am, who I want to be, and getting clear about what really matters. I do some pen-to-paper exercises around what worked and what didn’t work during the past year. Perhaps you’ve heard of the “Start/Stop/Continue” framework? Just as important as finding some big, game-changing ideas, it’s equally important to look for opportunities to say no and simply create more open space…to think. 

While on retreats I prioritize sleep, I run and hike and soak or perhaps get a massage. It’s quiet time. Alone time. Solitude. It’s a rare opportunity to slow down, look out at the horizon and think deeply. 

I also try to build-in smaller, abbreviated versions of this practice during my regular days and weeks – and that’s helpful too. But it’s not the same. Three solid days away provides the ideal situation for me to go deep. Perhaps it’s not too different from Bill Gates “Think Weeks.” 

We aren’t really using our brains while we’re receiving all those inputs – and we’re practically getting them 24/7. Believe it or not, you’re not getting that much smarter while doing all that reading, podcasting, and binge-watching, either. Sure, you’re learning a few things. And perhaps it’s enjoyable. But be honest with yourself – you’re not exactly thinking deeply or wrestling with any of it. 

The real question to ask is, what are you doing with all of the information you’re taking in? What are all of these inputs and information doing for your life? What’s the tangible impact?  Stop lying to yourself. Show me. 

Furthering this modern mental epidemic is what we’re doing in the margins – those little blips of time in between things. I’m talking about virtually anytime we're waiting, in the bathroom, before and after meetings and calls, or perhaps whenever we feel that little buzz in the pocket. Our “margin time” is being mindlessly co-opted by our devices, feeds, news and social media trash. If you feel me, you’re in the matrix. 

To truly flex that supercomputer between your ears, you need solitude. There’s no way around it. 

Quiet. Stillness. No inputs. And most importantly, you need the quiet time and space to consider, contemplate, try-on, and wrestle with ideas, dreams, beliefs, conflicts, and those big, important life questions like “who am I?” and “what do I want to accomplish this year?”

The only way to truly experience real, deep thinking is to turn off all inputs. Period. 

Franciscan monk and author, Richard Rohr, said it best, “In our busy, frenetic world, it’s easy to slip into a mode of living that looks and feels a lot like autopilot. We go through the motions, move through our calendars, and rinse and repeat each day.”

Now stop for a moment and imagine what life could look like if you actually had a plan. Consider what you could achieve if you set clear goals for your year. Think about the impact of having every hour of every day planned and accounted for, as a result of deep thought and intention. 

This doesn’t mean you can’t have a lazy Saturday afternoon binge-watching Friends or watching soccer. Everyone needs a few days like that, no doubt. It just means you’re doing that with intention and it’s part of your plan, not because you mindlessly ended up on the couch because you were feeling burnt-out and saw a meme on Instagram about self care.

A famous person once told me that every day when he wakes up, he sits on the edge of his bed for a minute and contemplates “who am I and what will I accomplish today?” I have to admit, I rolled my eyes when I heard that for the first time.

Then I got a little older and a little grayer.  And now I’ve more or less adopted that daily practice for myself, along with magic mornings. And guess what? It works. It all really works.

There’s many ways to do this kind of work. My mentor, Mario Schulzke, has a 600 square-foot log cabin in deep, rural Montana. Nothing fancy. No electricity. No running water.  The only possible distractions are weather and bears. That’s solitude. Another mentor of mine, Chris Corbin, has an old Toyota pickup truck and pulls a simple fiberglass row boat behind it. Nothing fancy. And wherever he floats, he finds solitude, and thinks deeply about life, love, work… and bull trout.

Solitude provides the opportunity for deep thought, critical thinking and resilient brain function. Which allows for the forging of one’s own beliefs, intentions and specific plans. Followed by healthy habits and steady practice, leads to action. Which leads to impact. Which leads to meaning and feelings of joy and gratitude. Which wakes you up from the matrix. 

RW

Get out of your head. How to separate facts from fiction to make better decisions.

A version of this essay was originally published by Forbes.com on May 4th, 2020.

Storytelling

I’ve become increasingly aware of a challenge facing leaders today: storytelling. And I’m not talking about the kind of storytelling families and cultures use to pass down history and traditions -- nor do I mean storytelling contemporary creatives use to cultivate connection and meaning for brands. I'm talking about internal storytelling — the unconscious fiction humans make up when faced with challenges, conflict and important matters. 

A tell-tale sign is seeing someone stuck in “analysis paralysis” — a term you’re surely familiar with. Observing closely, you’ll notice their time is spent worrying about the many ways things could go wrong. These internal stories are typically grounded in what-if’s and hypotheticals and future possibilities, rather than present facts. In these moments, humans get stuck in their limbic system, the part of the brain that runs on emotions and survival instincts, rather than the neocortex, where logic, rational decision-making, focus, and emotional control originates. 

Researcher and author Brené Brown coined a concept for this: “Shitty First Draft.”  She explains when something triggers our emotions, our unconscious brains tend to manufacture internal stories -- our brain’s instinctual attempt to process what’s happening. These stories are often one-sided worst-case scenarios and seldom contain the full truth. Brown suggests, in the absence of having a crystal ball, we make up stories to anticipate how things might go.

It all stems from a self-protective survival instinct our caveman ancestors relied on to avoid being eaten by sabertooth-tigers. These instincts rarely serve us today, yet our brains still make-up stories that magnify our fears and anxieties, contributing to our own dysfunction.  Brené Brown has popularized a reality checking tool, using the phrase “the story I’m telling myself…” to check one’s assumptions by practicing personal curiosity and reflection. 

Observation vs Evaluation

Another helpful tool is by psychologist, Marshall Rosenburg, who created a brilliant framework in the 1960’s known as, Nonviolent Communication, which is based on learning "to clarify what we are observing, what emotions we are feeling, what values we want to live by, and what we want to ask of ourselves and others."

Observations are things you can literally observe, ideally using one or more of your five senses — see, hear, touch, taste, smell. Observations are verifiable facts, and in their purest form, are free of bias, beliefs, judgments or attached meaning. Evaluations are the result of taking our observations and running them through a filter of emotions, feelings and beliefs, experiences, knowledge — essentially running the facts through a person's highly personal, highly individualized CPU (central processing unit).

Evaluations are also what sets human beings apart from virtually every other living thing, giving us the unique ability to understand and think critically, integrating our emotions, feelings, memory and experiences with our thoughts and decision making.

As a leader, I've found I'm at my best when separating observations (facts) from evaluations (stories). For example, you may see a data point in a presentation and quickly jump to analysis, creating stories about it. Not so fast. Wise leaders keep analyses in check, grounding conversations first around the facts, which usually makes buy-in and alignment with colleagues easier. There's always time to seek analysis and opinions later — but first, it's best to get clear and aligned on the facts.

“Wise leaders keep analyses in check, grounding conversations first around the facts, which usually makes buy-in and alignment with colleagues easier. There's always time to seek analysis and opinions later — but first, it's best to get clear and aligned on the facts.”

The Observing Eye vs The Perceiving Eye

“Observation and perception are two separate things; the observing eye is stronger, the perceiving eye is weaker,” said Miyamoto Musashi. Possibly the greatest Japanese Samurai to ever live, he won countless fights against feared opponents, even multiple opponents, in which he was swordless. Born in 1584 and author of The Book of Five Rings, he taught there are two ways to see the world: with the observing eye and the perceiving eye. Observation focuses attention on truth and what is actually happening in the present moment. 

The perceiving eye, however, sees much more than just the facts. Perception dovetails other information with the facts, like experiences, preferences, emotions, personal beliefs and values. The perceiving eye paints the facts with one’s own personal colors, sometimes commingling our fears and worst case scenarios with what’s real. Mark Twain famously said, “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

What is true?

When faced with any challenge, opportunity or important matter, the first step should always be to remove feelings, bias and analysis from the equation. Approach things as if you're running a highly scientific lab experiment where accuracy and fact-finding are paramount. Ask yourself: What is true? What is absolutely true? 

This reminds me of author Byron Katie and her belief that most human suffering comes from believing our own stressful thoughts. She’s found most stress and pain is rooted in the stories we create in our minds -- the fears and hypothetical scenarios we spend so much time spinning out on. What if we spent equal time considering best case scenarios, along with the worst?

“Most human suffering comes from believing our own stressful thoughts.” — Byron Katie

What if there was a way to actually turn off our internal storytelling? What if we could actually turn the storytelling off? I've worked on this within myself and found a daily meditation practice can help turn it off, or at least turn it down. Only when I regularly spent time alone with my thoughts could I truly understand what my thoughts are, where they come from and what they're good for. (Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, was helpful too.)

Good? Bad? Who Knows?

It's human nature to unconsciously turn everything into a binary decision: Is it good or bad? But what if everything we encounter didn't have to be evaluated as good or bad? What if we were open to the possibility that any experience could be good, bad or an infinite range of possibilities in between? What if we could all agree that no experience, situation or scenario is all good or all bad?

There's an ancient story of a Chinese farmer that really drives this home. In my peer mentor group of CEOs, we've reflected on this story more frequently over the past few weeks, amid the global crisis. If you have three minutes, watch it here. It may be the best three minutes you spend today.

Spoiler alert: The farmer stays neutral and open. He avoids binary traps and doesn't rush to analysis about whether a current situation is good or bad. Instead, he's open to infinite possibilities, knowing it may take years to truly discern and understand something.

"The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence." — Jiddu Krishnamurti 

Indian philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti surmised: "The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence." I couldn't agree more. Leaders make better decisions when adept at separating facts from fiction, when we're mindful of internal storytelling, and when we stay grounded, centered and open to infinite possibilities.

RW

A version of this essay was originally published by Forbes.com on May 4th, 2020.

*This is yet another essay in-part inspired by my friends Mario and Chris — please check out their work too. We believe the process of public writing helps us learn, grow and improves our lives too. We call ourselves the Western Writers League and someday we might make hats with a cool logo.

Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life…is bullsh*t

Recently, a friend of mine, Brianne Mees — brilliant leader and co-founder of Tender Loving Empire — shared something with me that’s been on my mind ever since.  She explained that, in her opinion, the popular saying, “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is bullshit. It’s a fantasy and a lie that’s misled and confused an entire generation of young people — many of whom are entering the workforce right now. Brianne explained that to truly find, pursue and live one’s passion, there will always be a counterweight of pain and suffering. It’s unavoidable. If you’re able to find your passion, and if you’re able to actually do your passion as your main gig or career, or even as a side hustle, you’d sure as heck better expect there will be some suffering, storms, a LOT of hard work, and some seasons of deep, dark adversity, too. 

This counterweight concept Brianne shared has no doubt been true in my own life. And I’ve yet to read a single biography or hear from someone I know who’s successful and “loves what they do” that doesn’t have the ever-present counterweight of suffering as a constant factor in their story. There’s no way around it.

Thinking on more of a meta-level, I wonder if any measure of greatness or success is achievable without the counterweight? I ask this because I’m surprised by how often I encounter people who seem to expect to achieve success or greatness without the counterweight. It’s as if they truly believe that silly saying.

I see it most frequently in 20-somethings navigating the beginnings of their career, who after a year or two in an entry-level role, complain that their work is mundane or unsatisfying, and express frustration when a promotion doesn’t happen as quickly as they want. They either get impatient and jump ship after a year or two… or sometimes they just get increasingly louder, voicing their complaints and frustrations more and more until it breeds negativity and some kind of intervention is needed.

While I truly love the drive and the fire in the belly these types of people exhibit, I’m fascinated by the on-demand, instant gratification mindset and pain-free expectations so many seem to live by. It’s as if some can’t fathom the thought of taking two, three, or more years to learn, develop, and deeply master a role before moving on to something else. There’s a desire and expectation to have it all right now, unwilling to slow down to take the time and walk through the fire and experience some adversity — these are prerequisites to grow and rise to any real level of success and achievement. It’s as if some weren’t anticipating any pain or discomfort along the way. They’re unaware of the counterweight. My colleague at Marmoset, Rachel Schmidt, likes to remind me of this quote: “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” - Thomas Edison

The truth of the matter is, there are no shortcuts. There’s no express route or fast lane to achieving great things, whether in a career or a side hustle. And there’s no way to avoid the pain and suffering that happens along the way either — which sometimes means enduring a role for a while that may feel mundane or isn’t very challenging. It’s all connected and part of the journey. This is the nature of life. The uncomfortable part that may be frustrating or painful is often, in hindsight, a necessary chapter in everyone’s story. It may not make sense while you’re in the middle of it… but upon reflection years later, I almost always find that there was something beneficial that needed to be learned, no matter how painful or how dark the experience may have been. That’s my story. And as a leader, I see too many young people start out on their path, and when the journey gets long… when it gets hard and isn’t fun… when pain and suffering occur… they so quickly get bummed-out, frustrated, discouraged and impatient — and don’t have reasonable expectations about what it takes. They haven’t prepared for the counterweight, so they hit the eject button.

Even worse — after you hit the eject button a couple of times, you risk losing the power of resiliency — the most critical power to develop and master in order to achieve what you want to achieve in life.

My friend and peer mentor, Mario Schulzke, recently shared an essay about his passion project. You can read about it here. Most fascinating to me, he reflected upon the ten years he’s been pursuing this particular passion, and he confessed it’s been about 51% fun and about 49% terrible. Whoa.

Mario explained how mundane and hard his passion project has been, and how at times he’s felt completely stuck. Yet he sticks with it and he finds a way to appreciate, and sometimes even love the process. Mario knows the counterweight quite well. A German immigrant raised by a single parent and meager means, he’s been mindful of the counterbalance concept his entire life. In fact, I know Mario is always expecting it — he’s anticipating it and always preparing for it.  In Mario’s words, “Giving up is easy.  You need time. You need staying power. You need to keep going when things get hard.”

I agree with Mario. And I agree with Brianne, too. “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” …truly is bullshit. Life’s counterweight is real.

How you prepare for it and how you respond to it is what ultimately determines the arc of your story. It defines who you are.

- RW

--> This essay is part of a series published in collaboration with The Western Writers League. Take a few minutes to explore my peers’s work as well.

The Steelhead Bath by Chris Corbin

How To Keep Going On Your Side Project When Things Get Hard by Mario Schulzke