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How To Wake-up From The Matrix

January 27, 2022 Ryan Wines

As I type this, I’m on a three-day solo retreat in the Columbia River Gorge. It’s an annual ritual I’ve developed over the years to find some space, reflect, reset and redefine my habits, goals and intentions for the year ahead. 

In other words, it’s how I wake-up from The Matrix – the mindless trance most of us are trapped inside of, due to a constant deluge of inputs, feeds, streams and the nonstop stimulus to our souls. Thanks to works like Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, I’ve become acutely aware of how humans aren’t good at slowing down, being quiet and embracing the wonders of solitude. Some have even argued solitude is becoming extinct. 

To be clear, taking long walks with your earbuds in isn’t solitude. Long drives while listening to music, podcasts or audiobooks isn’t solitude either. Spending a lazy Saturday afternoon alone on the couch while binge-watching Friends or soccer isn’t solitude. Enjoyable? Sure. Solitude? No way. 

Solitude is best defined as “freedom from inputs from other minds.” Props to Georgetown University Professor and leading thinker on minimalism, Cal Newport, for distilling it. In his research, Newport discovered regular doses of solitude are crucial for the effective and resilient functioning of your brain. 

During my annual retreat ritual, I block out all possible distractions and inputs, reflecting and thinking deeply about who I am, who I want to be, and getting clear about what really matters. I do some pen-to-paper exercises around what worked and what didn’t work during the past year. Perhaps you’ve heard of the “Start/Stop/Continue” framework? Just as important as finding some big, game-changing ideas, it’s equally important to look for opportunities to say no and simply create more open space…to think. 

While on retreats I prioritize sleep, I run and hike and soak or perhaps get a massage. It’s quiet time. Alone time. Solitude. It’s a rare opportunity to slow down, look out at the horizon and think deeply. 

I also try to build-in smaller, abbreviated versions of this practice during my regular days and weeks – and that’s helpful too. But it’s not the same. Three solid days away provides the ideal situation for me to go deep. Perhaps it’s not too different from Bill Gates “Think Weeks.” 

We aren’t really using our brains while we’re receiving all those inputs – and we’re practically getting them 24/7. Believe it or not, you’re not getting that much smarter while doing all that reading, podcasting, and binge-watching, either. Sure, you’re learning a few things. And perhaps it’s enjoyable. But be honest with yourself – you’re not exactly thinking deeply or wrestling with any of it. 

The real question to ask is, what are you doing with all of the information you’re taking in? What are all of these inputs and information doing for your life? What’s the tangible impact?  Stop lying to yourself. Show me. 

Furthering this modern mental epidemic is what we’re doing in the margins – those little blips of time in between things. I’m talking about virtually anytime we're waiting, in the bathroom, before and after meetings and calls, or perhaps whenever we feel that little buzz in the pocket. Our “margin time” is being mindlessly co-opted by our devices, feeds, news and social media trash. If you feel me, you’re in the matrix. 

To truly flex that supercomputer between your ears, you need solitude. There’s no way around it. 

Quiet. Stillness. No inputs. And most importantly, you need the quiet time and space to consider, contemplate, try-on, and wrestle with ideas, dreams, beliefs, conflicts, and those big, important life questions like “who am I?” and “what do I want to accomplish this year?”

The only way to truly experience real, deep thinking is to turn off all inputs. Period. 

Franciscan monk and author, Richard Rohr, said it best, “In our busy, frenetic world, it’s easy to slip into a mode of living that looks and feels a lot like autopilot. We go through the motions, move through our calendars, and rinse and repeat each day.”

Now stop for a moment and imagine what life could look like if you actually had a plan. Consider what you could achieve if you set clear goals for your year. Think about the impact of having every hour of every day planned and accounted for, as a result of deep thought and intention. 

This doesn’t mean you can’t have a lazy Saturday afternoon binge-watching Friends or watching soccer. Everyone needs a few days like that, no doubt. It just means you’re doing that with intention and it’s part of your plan, not because you mindlessly ended up on the couch because you were feeling burnt-out and saw a meme on Instagram about self care.

A famous person once told me that every day when he wakes up, he sits on the edge of his bed for a minute and contemplates “who am I and what will I accomplish today?” I have to admit, I rolled my eyes when I heard that for the first time.

Then I got a little older and a little grayer.  And now I’ve more or less adopted that daily practice for myself, along with magic mornings. And guess what? It works. It all really works.

There’s many ways to do this kind of work. My mentor, Mario Schulzke, has a 600 square-foot log cabin in deep, rural Montana. Nothing fancy. No electricity. No running water.  The only possible distractions are weather and bears. That’s solitude. Another mentor of mine, Chris Corbin, has an old Toyota pickup truck and pulls a simple fiberglass row boat behind it. Nothing fancy. And wherever he floats, he finds solitude, and thinks deeply about life, love, work… and bull trout.

Solitude provides the opportunity for deep thought, critical thinking and resilient brain function. Which allows for the forging of one’s own beliefs, intentions and specific plans. Followed by healthy habits and steady practice, leads to action. Which leads to impact. Which leads to meaning and feelings of joy and gratitude. Which wakes you up from the matrix. 

RW

In Decision Making, Healthy Work Habits, Leadership, Mindset, Optimism, Vulnerability, Work Life, Healthy Habits, Solitude, Deep work, Deep thinking, Cal Newport, The Matrix Tags self-care, solitude, mindfulness, protect your mind, be quiet, choice, growth, habitual, healthy habits, deep work, deep thought, deep thinking, critical thought, critical thinking, brain, motivation, nurture theory, optimism, podcasts, quality of life, sabbatical, truth, vision, values, beliefs, w, worklife, retreats, cal newport, digital minimalism, richard rohr, the matrix, matric, matrix
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Podcast Crush: HBR's Women at Work

August 2, 2019 Ryan Wines
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PODCAST CRUSH:

HBR’S Women at Work

I love crushing on a good podcast. It’s what I do while running, taking road trips or whenever I’m having a hard time falling asleep. Lately I’ve really enjoyed crushing Harvard Business Review’s Women at Work podcast.

HBR editors Amy Bernstein, Amy Gallo, and Nicole Torres interview experts at the intersection of gender in the workplace, sharing their experiences, giving tons of brilliant and insightful practical advice.

The way they describe the podcast:

“Women face gender discrimination throughout our careers. It doesn't have to derail our ambitions — but how do we prepare to deal with it? There's no workplace orientation session about narrowing the wage gap, standing up to interrupting male colleagues, or taking on many other issues we encounter at work.”

Appropriate for any audience, I really enjoyed S2, E11 on “Self Disclosure at Work.” They explore opening up in the workplace, being vulnerable, sharing our personal lives, and how that impacts trust, relationships and cohesiveness among teams.

The concept of vulnerability and sharing your personal life in the workplace can be an x-factor in building cohesive, strong, high performing teams. While it may not be for everyone, I’ve found those who can commit to exploring vulnerability and a holistic approach to work often find great connection, deeper meaning, and higher performance.

This is essentially the center of Brené Brown’s philosophy, sparking her swift rise to the top of every Leadership and Personal Growth Best Selling List. According to Brown, the key is viewing vulnerability as a strength, not as a weakness. She says the key to brave leadership is finding the courage to be open, share your story, ask for help, and model vulnerability. When leaders demonstrate this, it gives others permission to do the same, creating a culture and environment of openness and collaboration. When we lead with openness, vulnerability and empathy, it enhances connection and communication, building trust and cohesion among people.

As Margaret Wheatley so wonderfully put it, “Relationships are all there is. Everything in the universe only exists because it is in relationship to everything else. Nothing exists in isolation. We have to stop pretending we are individuals that can go it alone.” It’s time we fully lean into the power and depth of relationships — especially in the workplace. Vulnerability, openness and self disclosure is the key.

Check out HBR’s Women at Work S2, E11 on “Self Disclosure at Work” and if you like it, subscribe and explore the deep well of wisdom they’ve built.

Other episodes I’ve enjoyed are “There’s More to Gender Than Man and Woman,” “The Art of Taking Credit, ” “Managing Burnout,” and there’s a couple different episodes on parental leave too.

For more recommended podcasts to crush, check out my Inspiration & Resources page.

-RW

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#womenatworkpodcast #hbr #workplaceculture #vulnerability #selfdisclosure #hbrpodcast #nurturetheory #worklife #brenebrown #womeninbusiness #womenatwork #genderatwork #nurturetheory

In culture, gender, Vulnerability, Podcasts Tags podcast, podcasts, hbr, harvard business review, brené brown, vulnerability, workplace, workplace culture, gender, gender dynamics, arvard Business Review’s Women at Work podcast, HRB’s Women at Work podcast, Women at Work podcast, Self Disclosure at Work, Managing burnout, burnout, parental leave, gender discrimination, nurture theory
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