How To Wake-up From The Matrix

As I type this, I’m on a three-day solo retreat in the Columbia River Gorge. It’s an annual ritual I’ve developed over the years to find some space, reflect, reset and redefine my habits, goals and intentions for the year ahead. 

In other words, it’s how I wake-up from The Matrix – the mindless trance most of us are trapped inside of, due to a constant deluge of inputs, feeds, streams and the nonstop stimulus to our souls. Thanks to works like Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport, I’ve become acutely aware of how humans aren’t good at slowing down, being quiet and embracing the wonders of solitude. Some have even argued solitude is becoming extinct. 

To be clear, taking long walks with your earbuds in isn’t solitude. Long drives while listening to music, podcasts or audiobooks isn’t solitude either. Spending a lazy Saturday afternoon alone on the couch while binge-watching Friends or soccer isn’t solitude. Enjoyable? Sure. Solitude? No way. 

Solitude is best defined as “freedom from inputs from other minds.” Props to Georgetown University Professor and leading thinker on minimalism, Cal Newport, for distilling it. In his research, Newport discovered regular doses of solitude are crucial for the effective and resilient functioning of your brain. 

During my annual retreat ritual, I block out all possible distractions and inputs, reflecting and thinking deeply about who I am, who I want to be, and getting clear about what really matters. I do some pen-to-paper exercises around what worked and what didn’t work during the past year. Perhaps you’ve heard of the “Start/Stop/Continue” framework? Just as important as finding some big, game-changing ideas, it’s equally important to look for opportunities to say no and simply create more open space…to think. 

While on retreats I prioritize sleep, I run and hike and soak or perhaps get a massage. It’s quiet time. Alone time. Solitude. It’s a rare opportunity to slow down, look out at the horizon and think deeply. 

I also try to build-in smaller, abbreviated versions of this practice during my regular days and weeks – and that’s helpful too. But it’s not the same. Three solid days away provides the ideal situation for me to go deep. Perhaps it’s not too different from Bill Gates “Think Weeks.” 

We aren’t really using our brains while we’re receiving all those inputs – and we’re practically getting them 24/7. Believe it or not, you’re not getting that much smarter while doing all that reading, podcasting, and binge-watching, either. Sure, you’re learning a few things. And perhaps it’s enjoyable. But be honest with yourself – you’re not exactly thinking deeply or wrestling with any of it. 

The real question to ask is, what are you doing with all of the information you’re taking in? What are all of these inputs and information doing for your life? What’s the tangible impact?  Stop lying to yourself. Show me. 

Furthering this modern mental epidemic is what we’re doing in the margins – those little blips of time in between things. I’m talking about virtually anytime we're waiting, in the bathroom, before and after meetings and calls, or perhaps whenever we feel that little buzz in the pocket. Our “margin time” is being mindlessly co-opted by our devices, feeds, news and social media trash. If you feel me, you’re in the matrix. 

To truly flex that supercomputer between your ears, you need solitude. There’s no way around it. 

Quiet. Stillness. No inputs. And most importantly, you need the quiet time and space to consider, contemplate, try-on, and wrestle with ideas, dreams, beliefs, conflicts, and those big, important life questions like “who am I?” and “what do I want to accomplish this year?”

The only way to truly experience real, deep thinking is to turn off all inputs. Period. 

Franciscan monk and author, Richard Rohr, said it best, “In our busy, frenetic world, it’s easy to slip into a mode of living that looks and feels a lot like autopilot. We go through the motions, move through our calendars, and rinse and repeat each day.”

Now stop for a moment and imagine what life could look like if you actually had a plan. Consider what you could achieve if you set clear goals for your year. Think about the impact of having every hour of every day planned and accounted for, as a result of deep thought and intention. 

This doesn’t mean you can’t have a lazy Saturday afternoon binge-watching Friends or watching soccer. Everyone needs a few days like that, no doubt. It just means you’re doing that with intention and it’s part of your plan, not because you mindlessly ended up on the couch because you were feeling burnt-out and saw a meme on Instagram about self care.

A famous person once told me that every day when he wakes up, he sits on the edge of his bed for a minute and contemplates “who am I and what will I accomplish today?” I have to admit, I rolled my eyes when I heard that for the first time.

Then I got a little older and a little grayer.  And now I’ve more or less adopted that daily practice for myself, along with magic mornings. And guess what? It works. It all really works.

There’s many ways to do this kind of work. My mentor, Mario Schulzke, has a 600 square-foot log cabin in deep, rural Montana. Nothing fancy. No electricity. No running water.  The only possible distractions are weather and bears. That’s solitude. Another mentor of mine, Chris Corbin, has an old Toyota pickup truck and pulls a simple fiberglass row boat behind it. Nothing fancy. And wherever he floats, he finds solitude, and thinks deeply about life, love, work… and bull trout.

Solitude provides the opportunity for deep thought, critical thinking and resilient brain function. Which allows for the forging of one’s own beliefs, intentions and specific plans. Followed by healthy habits and steady practice, leads to action. Which leads to impact. Which leads to meaning and feelings of joy and gratitude. Which wakes you up from the matrix. 

RW

The Power of Mindset

This essay was originally published by Forbes.com on July 2nd, 2019

Man’s Search For Meaning, by Viktor Frankl, is a book that’s always struck me like a punch to the gut because the story is so dark yet so real and so recent in terms of the timeline of human history. In reading it again more recently, it lit up like a signal fire of meaning and context for life as I reflect on my own journey leading a creative company.

Austrian neurologist and psychotherapist Viktor Frankl viewed life through a different lens than most. On September 25th, 1942, Frankl and his family were taken prisoner by Nazi Germany and spent more than three years in concentration camps, including Auschwitz.

During this time, Frankl examined how he and other prisoners faced endless life-defining challenges every day, often every hour. It’s hard to imagine a more stressful, heart-wrenching daily experience. Despite these conditions, Frankl was relentless in his quest to determine why some survived and some didn’t -- why some persevered and some gave up hope. With curiosity, he explored why humans behave differently when up against challenges, or in this case, the most horrific conditions imaginable.

Somehow, Frankl was able to zoom out and reframe everything around one singular, critical question facing every human: What is the meaning of life itself? As Frankl frames the concept, life is a constant and continual prompt, through which having meaning is the most vital component. And if we choose to pay attention, we will find life is constantly knocking at our door, presenting choices, offering possibilities, seeking some kind of choice or decision. In nearly every moment of every day, life stands before us, seeking a response. If only we’re awake enough to see it.

More importantly, Frankl found that some responses actually produce better outcomes. He discovered that when one’s response is grounded in purpose and meaning -- with a positive, optimistic mindset -- it nearly always increases the odds for better results. He found this was the defining difference between those most likely to survive the death camps and those less likely to persevere. Frankl wrote, "Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way."

"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way." -Viktor Frankl

Let that sink in for a moment: A positive mindset can literally open up better possibilities and increase the odds of better results. This is Frankl’s case for defaulting to optimism. It’s about responding to whatever life may bring you with positivity. We’re talking about choosing your mindset, despite life’s circumstances. It’s the glass-half-full approach. Looking at the bright side. Seeing the best in people. Fighting away dark thoughts. Resisting negative self-talk. Not participating in gossiping and complaining. Always bringing your best self to any situation.

Frankl also wrote, "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. In our response lies the opportunity for something better."

Make no mistake: In everything, we have a choice. Every human being possesses the power to choose how they'll respond to life. But isn’t it curious how frequently we don’t?

As humans today, it seems far too often we're going through life unconsciously -- cruising along on autopilot, unable to recognize the choice and power we possess. Even if we're awake enough to recognize our choices, we’re often blocked or frozen by dark forces like negative self-talk, worst-case-scenario thinking, complaining, succumbing to a victim mindset or getting caught up in the destructive nature of worry, gossip and perpetuating false narratives.

It's especially critical for leaders today to remain awake and positive, and to avoid the constant undertow of critical voices, stress and negativity. As Brené Brown has pointed out from a Theodore Roosevelt speech, our critics in the cheap seats don't matter much. It's only those who are brave enough to enter the arena with us, who are truly worthy of our attention. (Highly recommended: Watch Brown’s recent Netflix special here)

In my work as the leader of a creative company, I encounter all kinds of people, including those who default to worst-case-scenario thinking -- frozen inside their own minds, operating from a closed and defensive, second-guessing and complaining, fear-based mindset. Unfortunately, I’ve found many just can’t seem to help it. It’s as if they’re hardwired this way from birth. We all know people like this -- those unable to visualize the upside or imagine positive outcomes.

For a moment, consider Viktor Frankl and his experience in the death camps. Now, consider your own life and how you behave under stress and crisis. What mindset are you choosing to bring to your work, family and life?

Consider Frankl’s theory that when life is grounded in meaning, life has more upside, more possibilities. And when we bring our best self into challenging situations -- with an optimistic and positive mindset -- the likelihood of achieving better outcomes actually increases.

There are many impactful practices and resources available for mindset. For perspective, Man's Search for Meaning is a good place to start. In my journey, I've found choosing my mindset first thing in the morning to be transformational. My simple formula is this, which anyone can do: I read and contemplate my own personal purpose, core values, life goals and intentions first thing when I wake up. Then, I meditate, exercise and read something enriching. I also keep a mini-journal reflecting on my state of being, celebrating gratitude and stating my No. 1 objective for the day, No. 1 challenge for the day and any other reflections and affirmations worth noting. A homemade smoothie full of fruit, greens and goodness completes my morning routine.

A simple morning ritual provides a clear orientation -- priming the mindset for whatever life may bring your way, each and every day.

If you only remember one thing from this essay, please make it this: how you respond to any situation or experience in life is 100% up to you. No one can take that from you. Your response — your attitude is 100% your choice. Most importantly, a positive mindset can literally open up better possibilities and increase the odds of better results.

Mindset = Power.

RW

This essay was originally published by Forbes.com on July 2nd, 2019.

--> This essay is part of a series published in collaboration with The Western Writers League. Take a few minutes to explore my peers’s work as well.

I’m Not Perfect by Chris Corbin

My Life Is Not Perfect by Mario Schulzke

The Anti-Venom for Fear and Low Morale

I’ve been thinking a lot about morale lately. I think the modern day interpretation is “vibes.”  Am I right? It’s a fascinating concept if you really dig into it.

Morale is a psychological state of being, measured in terms of confidence and enthusiasm, especially when in challenging situations. I’ve been thinking a great deal about the morale of my own community lately, in addition to that of our world -- thinking about how we’re wired, what brings us up…what pulls us down. On one hand there’s a lot to be hopeful and encouraged about. Yet on the other hand, I can’t help but feel the fear and growing concern my friends and communities are feeling these days. But why is concern growing?

As you dig deeper, you can’t avoid the reality that bad news is literally being manufactured and distributed by the millisecond. News, media and digital channels globally are overflowing with stories of fear and trepidation -- all done in pursuit of profit.

To make matters worse, humans have devolved to a point where most of us lack a basic self discipline to turn it off. We’re addicted to bad news. Like sheep, our phones and apps regularly interrupt our lives to tell us what to think about, what to give our attention to, and what to worry about. And it seeps into our world like a virus...

I recently deleted my NextDoor app because it wanted me to believe my legitimately quiet neighborhood is overrun with burglars, drag racing and property crime. Other apps and sites I’ve deleted or blocked on my iPhone include Instagram, Facebook, NY Times and CNN. Their sole purpose is to capture my attention and hold it. I’m sorry, but our time and attention is much too valuable to be held hostage by these tech and news companies, wielding fear combined with hits of dopamine to stimulate our worried little caveman brains. And remember, they’re distracting us, controlling our attention and feeding us fear for profit.

Along these lines, Rolling Stone published a feature at the peak of the 2016 presidential campaign, statistically proving this is the safest time in human history, yet humans have never been so consumed with fear. In fact, there’s a well known philosophy driving the news industry: “If it bleeds, it leads.”

Take a moment to think about it: Has there ever been a point in time when people you know have been so guarded, so cynical, so skeptical and so critical of practically everything they encounter? From everyday things like coffee and pizza, to obvious things like the weather and politics -- we scrutinize everything, even our Uber rides. We’ve become well-trained critics, ready to give everything a one-to-five star rating. But I digress...

Amid this current condition of the world, I’m searching for the anti-venom, something to curb the fear and maybe help lift the vibe — and think I found it. It’s called optimism.

Consider this: Optimism is one of the greatest, most powerful internal forces available to humankind. It’s the catalyst, not only for changing the world, but for actually propelling us forward toward a better future. It’s the anti-venom for low morale, fear and negativity. Whether we’re talking about individuals, teams of people, communities or anything -- optimism is the singular most powerful driving force behind growing, improving, innovating and achieving success. Even more exciting — optimism is scientifically proven to be contagious. And it’s available to everyone. Just sit for a moment and imagine the possibilities.

Optimism: one of the greatest, most powerful internal forces available to humankind. It’s the catalyst, not only for changing the world, but for actually propelling us forward toward a better future. It’s the anti-venom for low morale, fear and negativity.

Daniel Kahneman, Nobel Prize-winner and author of “Thinking, Fast and Slow,” explains, “Optimists play a disproportionate role in shaping our lives. Their decisions make a difference; they are the inventors, the entrepreneurs, the leaders — not average people.”

Before we get too far, let’s first address a couple concerns of my fellow cynics and skeptics. One impediment is binary thinking: optimism vs. pessimism. The other is found among the “extremes of optimism” and how too much of it can be dangerous. Let’s address both of these now.

First, the binary trap: you’re either an optimist or a pessimist, right? I’ve had plenty of these conversations, where optimism and pessimism are compared and contrasted and batted about for a bit. Then at some point, someone in the room offers the conversational trump card, “I’m a realist” -- as if they’re breaking the binary dichotomy with their proclamation.

This notion is reinforced among popular psychology, as I’ve found several writings suggesting “reality” is the safe place in between optimism and pessimism. Some psychologists have even come up with something called “optimistic realism,” which anchors one to reality, with a slight bend toward hope. As relatable as this may sound, I’ve found no evidence or real life stories to support it. It’s as if psychology doesn’t know what to do with a concept as broad as optimism— so they designed an idea that feels a bit safer. I can almost hear someone saying, “Optimism? Let’s not get carried away.”  

The truth is, as amazing as psychology can be, I’m not sure it’s good for anyone to alter or water down a force as paramount as optimism. Some things are best left alone, as big and expansive as they may be.

Now let’s talk about extremes. Many things in life can be taken to extremes and optimism is no exception. Clearly there can be downfalls in taking optimism too far. At its worst, extreme optimism leads to delusion and poor risk perception. Some call it blind optimism. At some point it could even lead to narcissism or the realm of mental illness.

Look no further than the newly infamous Billy McFarland and his Fyre Festival — assuming he’s not just purely committing fraud from the very beginning. History is full of stories of extreme optimism, some good and some bad. Henry the Eighth. Napoleon Bonaparte. Amelia Earhart. Winston Churchill. Martin Luther King Jr.. Goldman Sachs and Lehman Brothers. Jay Z. Elon Musk. Alex Honnold. Amy Purdy. You gotta know Amy Purdy!

So if we can agree that most things, including optimism, have extremes that can be good and bad — I can make the same argument for realists. Those who are extreme, over committed to reality will miss opportunities to grow, learn, and dream. If you’re always cemented in reality, how can you dream about tomorrow, innovate and drive toward a better future? Now don’t get me wrong — I’m all for being present and in the moment. But without a future mindset, without dreams, I wonder if one might be nothing more than a rock, stuck in the land of status quo — one that never moves, never changes, never grows.

Okay, let’s define optimism. In sifting through hundreds of interpretations and definitions, I think Helen Keller put it best. “Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement…no pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.” She nailed it.

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement…no pessimist ever discovered the secret of the stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new doorway for the human spirit.” - Helen Keller

In his autobiography, Nelson Mandela explained, “I am fundamentally an optimist. Whether that comes from nature or nurture, I cannot say. Part of being optimistic is keeping one's head pointed toward the sun, one's feet moving forward. There were many dark moments when my faith in humanity was sorely tested, but I would not and could not give myself up to despair. That way lays defeat and death.”

In forthcoming parts of this essay, I will present empirical evidence, with real life examples to support the thesis. I will present the science behind optimism, the wild contagiousness of it, and a method for how to plan, introduce and manifest optimism among people, teams, and communities.

Until then, I’ll leave you with a timeless essay by Booker T. Washington, written for a talk he gave to the Tuskegee Institute on January 13, 1907, titled “Two Sides of Life.” As you read it, consider reflecting on people you know, maybe people you work with and experiences you’ve had. Reflect on Washington’s ideas from 1907 and see how they hold up for you today.

Photo: Booker T. Washington

RW

--> This essay is part of a series published in collaboration with The Western Writers League. Take a few minutes to explore my peers’s work as well.

My Pebble by Chris Corbin

Quick Wins by Mario Schulzke