Together Is Better: The Undeniable Magic of In-Person Work

**This piece was originally published by The Portland Business Journal on December 6, 2023.

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Put this on blast: in-person work is an X-factor and a huge competitive advantage – today more than ever.

While there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for every individual, team and organization, I’ve come to terms with the fact that some form of in-person connection (ie: people working in the same room together), whenever feasible, offers a huge advantage for individuals, teams, and organizations of all shapes and sizes. It’s an absolute x-factor. Perhaps it’s kind of like broccoli: you may not always like it, but it’s hard to deny broccoli is good for you.

To be clear, I’m not here to debate remote work versus in-person, versus hybrid or anything like that. All options are reasonable to explore and try, depending on the role, function, core values, workplace culture, etc. I’m simply making a case for the tremendous upside in-person connection has on teams and organizations.

We’re one year into our latest evolution of a hybrid work concept at my company and I’ve learned a ton. While 30% of our staff work remotely spread across the country, 70% of our staff are based in Portland, Oregon where our HQ is located. These folks work in-office, in-sync with their respective team one day a week, while some choose to come in more frequently, and leaders work in-office 3-4 days a week. Teams sync-up for weekly meetings and other internal rhythms, while our distributed (aka remote) team members Zoom-in regularly.   

What I’ve observed over the past year has been nothing short of mind blowing. Every day, without exception, I witness some kind of “magic moment” – and it’s the kind of stuff that can’t easily happen working remote through screens. I observe people going out for coffee, taking walks and having lunch together. I witness teammates tackling challenges in an organic, impromptu manner – whether in passing, in a conference room or in the kitchen. Perhaps the best part – there’s unexpected social, creative and intellectual “collisions” regularly happening before and after meetings, or while making coffee – magic moments that aren’t possible working remote through glowing screens. Once you see it in action, you can’t unsee it. It’s pure magic. It’s special. It’s a clear competitive advantage. And as a leader/nerd, it’s super cool to witness.

Apparently I’m not the only one feeling the impact of this “together is better” phenomenon. A recent MIT research study found that social bonds between co-workers is critical for innovation, creativity and team chemistry — and is best cultivated by some measure of IRL, in-the-same-room connection. Whether working in-office once a week, once a month, or even once a year, in-person connection creates powerful opportunities to deepen chemistry, build trust among teammates, boost creativity and innovation, and create a special kind of magic that simply isn't possible working through glowing screens and messaging apps. 

Marmoset HQ // November 2023

An organization's purpose and values can be a helpful compass for finding the best approach. My company is a Certified B Corp and our stated purpose is to “Be Community.”  In 2023 alone, our people got on airplanes every month, taking more than 30 in-person trips across the globe, traveling far and wide, to build authentic face-to-face connections, including more than 300 in-person client meetings. Throughout the year we threw parties, hosted learning events, community and industry mixers, plus all of the typical kinds of internal happy hours, quarterly All Hands, and annual retreats you can imagine.

Real human connection is the center of who we are. And objectively speaking, we’ve experienced healthy year-over-year growth in 2023. The impact is real.

Remember that old saying, “there's no i in team”? Contemporary business genius Reid Hoffman once quipped, “No matter how brilliant your mind or strategy, if you’re playing a solo game, you’ll always lose out to a team."   If one’s primary case for remote work is all about you – your individual comfort, your commute, your preferences or personality type, your productivity, your boundaries, and all of your personal needs – I would encourage you to take a beat to reflect.

Sure, you’ve eliminated your commute and can work in sweatpants, run errands and take personal appointments with less hassle. But what kind of chemistry and energy are you building with your team? How many unexpected creative and intellectual collisions are happening before and after meetings, or perhaps in the kitchen? Are you able to have passionate conversations and share new ideas on the fly? Are your new hires learning by osmosis – by just being in the same room and overhearing conversations? Are you satisfied living within the limits of a glowing screen, supported by digital calendar reminders telling you when to talk, who to talk to, and what to talk about?

If you truly believe in the impact derived from building strong teams and culture, consider the possibility that what's best for someone individually might not always be what’s best for the team. The world’s highest performing teams always have a “team first” mindset.  "Talent wins games, but teamwork wins championships." - Michael Jordan

There's also something to be said about growing a career through in-person connection. Whether we're talking about co-workers, clients, bosses, industry networking, future opportunities or the broader community, there're so many advantages to getting into the same room with people. Yes, especially early in one’s career – but IRL connection is equally impactful for seasoned professionals too.

As teams and companies emerge from a long season of a pandemic-induced remote work world, perhaps the most important concept that needs to be put on blast is the tremendous advantage of getting into the same room with other humans. While there’s no prescriptive, right or wrong way to do it, it’s a clear competitive advantage, today more than ever. 

So simple, yet so easy to miss in a modern world.

- RW

**This piece was originally published by The Portland Business Journal on December 6, 2023.

Marmoset HQ // November 2023

Get out of your head. How to separate facts from fiction to make better decisions.

A version of this essay was originally published by Forbes.com on May 4th, 2020.

Storytelling

I’ve become increasingly aware of a challenge facing leaders today: storytelling. And I’m not talking about the kind of storytelling families and cultures use to pass down history and traditions -- nor do I mean storytelling contemporary creatives use to cultivate connection and meaning for brands. I'm talking about internal storytelling — the unconscious fiction humans make up when faced with challenges, conflict and important matters. 

A tell-tale sign is seeing someone stuck in “analysis paralysis” — a term you’re surely familiar with. Observing closely, you’ll notice their time is spent worrying about the many ways things could go wrong. These internal stories are typically grounded in what-if’s and hypotheticals and future possibilities, rather than present facts. In these moments, humans get stuck in their limbic system, the part of the brain that runs on emotions and survival instincts, rather than the neocortex, where logic, rational decision-making, focus, and emotional control originates. 

Researcher and author Brené Brown coined a concept for this: “Shitty First Draft.”  She explains when something triggers our emotions, our unconscious brains tend to manufacture internal stories -- our brain’s instinctual attempt to process what’s happening. These stories are often one-sided worst-case scenarios and seldom contain the full truth. Brown suggests, in the absence of having a crystal ball, we make up stories to anticipate how things might go.

It all stems from a self-protective survival instinct our caveman ancestors relied on to avoid being eaten by sabertooth-tigers. These instincts rarely serve us today, yet our brains still make-up stories that magnify our fears and anxieties, contributing to our own dysfunction.  Brené Brown has popularized a reality checking tool, using the phrase “the story I’m telling myself…” to check one’s assumptions by practicing personal curiosity and reflection. 

Observation vs Evaluation

Another helpful tool is by psychologist, Marshall Rosenburg, who created a brilliant framework in the 1960’s known as, Nonviolent Communication, which is based on learning "to clarify what we are observing, what emotions we are feeling, what values we want to live by, and what we want to ask of ourselves and others."

Observations are things you can literally observe, ideally using one or more of your five senses — see, hear, touch, taste, smell. Observations are verifiable facts, and in their purest form, are free of bias, beliefs, judgments or attached meaning. Evaluations are the result of taking our observations and running them through a filter of emotions, feelings and beliefs, experiences, knowledge — essentially running the facts through a person's highly personal, highly individualized CPU (central processing unit).

Evaluations are also what sets human beings apart from virtually every other living thing, giving us the unique ability to understand and think critically, integrating our emotions, feelings, memory and experiences with our thoughts and decision making.

As a leader, I've found I'm at my best when separating observations (facts) from evaluations (stories). For example, you may see a data point in a presentation and quickly jump to analysis, creating stories about it. Not so fast. Wise leaders keep analyses in check, grounding conversations first around the facts, which usually makes buy-in and alignment with colleagues easier. There's always time to seek analysis and opinions later — but first, it's best to get clear and aligned on the facts.

“Wise leaders keep analyses in check, grounding conversations first around the facts, which usually makes buy-in and alignment with colleagues easier. There's always time to seek analysis and opinions later — but first, it's best to get clear and aligned on the facts.”

The Observing Eye vs The Perceiving Eye

“Observation and perception are two separate things; the observing eye is stronger, the perceiving eye is weaker,” said Miyamoto Musashi. Possibly the greatest Japanese Samurai to ever live, he won countless fights against feared opponents, even multiple opponents, in which he was swordless. Born in 1584 and author of The Book of Five Rings, he taught there are two ways to see the world: with the observing eye and the perceiving eye. Observation focuses attention on truth and what is actually happening in the present moment. 

The perceiving eye, however, sees much more than just the facts. Perception dovetails other information with the facts, like experiences, preferences, emotions, personal beliefs and values. The perceiving eye paints the facts with one’s own personal colors, sometimes commingling our fears and worst case scenarios with what’s real. Mark Twain famously said, “Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.”

What is true?

When faced with any challenge, opportunity or important matter, the first step should always be to remove feelings, bias and analysis from the equation. Approach things as if you're running a highly scientific lab experiment where accuracy and fact-finding are paramount. Ask yourself: What is true? What is absolutely true? 

This reminds me of author Byron Katie and her belief that most human suffering comes from believing our own stressful thoughts. She’s found most stress and pain is rooted in the stories we create in our minds -- the fears and hypothetical scenarios we spend so much time spinning out on. What if we spent equal time considering best case scenarios, along with the worst?

“Most human suffering comes from believing our own stressful thoughts.” — Byron Katie

What if there was a way to actually turn off our internal storytelling? What if we could actually turn the storytelling off? I've worked on this within myself and found a daily meditation practice can help turn it off, or at least turn it down. Only when I regularly spent time alone with my thoughts could I truly understand what my thoughts are, where they come from and what they're good for. (Michael Singer’s book, The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself, was helpful too.)

Good? Bad? Who Knows?

It's human nature to unconsciously turn everything into a binary decision: Is it good or bad? But what if everything we encounter didn't have to be evaluated as good or bad? What if we were open to the possibility that any experience could be good, bad or an infinite range of possibilities in between? What if we could all agree that no experience, situation or scenario is all good or all bad?

There's an ancient story of a Chinese farmer that really drives this home. In my peer mentor group of CEOs, we've reflected on this story more frequently over the past few weeks, amid the global crisis. If you have three minutes, watch it here. It may be the best three minutes you spend today.

Spoiler alert: The farmer stays neutral and open. He avoids binary traps and doesn't rush to analysis about whether a current situation is good or bad. Instead, he's open to infinite possibilities, knowing it may take years to truly discern and understand something.

"The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence." — Jiddu Krishnamurti 

Indian philosopher Jiddu Krishnamurti surmised: "The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of human intelligence." I couldn't agree more. Leaders make better decisions when adept at separating facts from fiction, when we're mindful of internal storytelling, and when we stay grounded, centered and open to infinite possibilities.

RW

A version of this essay was originally published by Forbes.com on May 4th, 2020.

*This is yet another essay in-part inspired by my friends Mario and Chris — please check out their work too. We believe the process of public writing helps us learn, grow and improves our lives too. We call ourselves the Western Writers League and someday we might make hats with a cool logo.

Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life…is bullsh*t

Recently, a friend of mine, Brianne Mees — brilliant leader and co-founder of Tender Loving Empire — shared something with me that’s been on my mind ever since.  She explained that, in her opinion, the popular saying, “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” is bullshit. It’s a fantasy and a lie that’s misled and confused an entire generation of young people — many of whom are entering the workforce right now. Brianne explained that to truly find, pursue and live one’s passion, there will always be a counterweight of pain and suffering. It’s unavoidable. If you’re able to find your passion, and if you’re able to actually do your passion as your main gig or career, or even as a side hustle, you’d sure as heck better expect there will be some suffering, storms, a LOT of hard work, and some seasons of deep, dark adversity, too. 

This counterweight concept Brianne shared has no doubt been true in my own life. And I’ve yet to read a single biography or hear from someone I know who’s successful and “loves what they do” that doesn’t have the ever-present counterweight of suffering as a constant factor in their story. There’s no way around it.

Thinking on more of a meta-level, I wonder if any measure of greatness or success is achievable without the counterweight? I ask this because I’m surprised by how often I encounter people who seem to expect to achieve success or greatness without the counterweight. It’s as if they truly believe that silly saying.

I see it most frequently in 20-somethings navigating the beginnings of their career, who after a year or two in an entry-level role, complain that their work is mundane or unsatisfying, and express frustration when a promotion doesn’t happen as quickly as they want. They either get impatient and jump ship after a year or two… or sometimes they just get increasingly louder, voicing their complaints and frustrations more and more until it breeds negativity and some kind of intervention is needed.

While I truly love the drive and the fire in the belly these types of people exhibit, I’m fascinated by the on-demand, instant gratification mindset and pain-free expectations so many seem to live by. It’s as if some can’t fathom the thought of taking two, three, or more years to learn, develop, and deeply master a role before moving on to something else. There’s a desire and expectation to have it all right now, unwilling to slow down to take the time and walk through the fire and experience some adversity — these are prerequisites to grow and rise to any real level of success and achievement. It’s as if some weren’t anticipating any pain or discomfort along the way. They’re unaware of the counterweight. My colleague at Marmoset, Rachel Schmidt, likes to remind me of this quote: “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” - Thomas Edison

The truth of the matter is, there are no shortcuts. There’s no express route or fast lane to achieving great things, whether in a career or a side hustle. And there’s no way to avoid the pain and suffering that happens along the way either — which sometimes means enduring a role for a while that may feel mundane or isn’t very challenging. It’s all connected and part of the journey. This is the nature of life. The uncomfortable part that may be frustrating or painful is often, in hindsight, a necessary chapter in everyone’s story. It may not make sense while you’re in the middle of it… but upon reflection years later, I almost always find that there was something beneficial that needed to be learned, no matter how painful or how dark the experience may have been. That’s my story. And as a leader, I see too many young people start out on their path, and when the journey gets long… when it gets hard and isn’t fun… when pain and suffering occur… they so quickly get bummed-out, frustrated, discouraged and impatient — and don’t have reasonable expectations about what it takes. They haven’t prepared for the counterweight, so they hit the eject button.

Even worse — after you hit the eject button a couple of times, you risk losing the power of resiliency — the most critical power to develop and master in order to achieve what you want to achieve in life.

My friend and peer mentor, Mario Schulzke, recently shared an essay about his passion project. You can read about it here. Most fascinating to me, he reflected upon the ten years he’s been pursuing this particular passion, and he confessed it’s been about 51% fun and about 49% terrible. Whoa.

Mario explained how mundane and hard his passion project has been, and how at times he’s felt completely stuck. Yet he sticks with it and he finds a way to appreciate, and sometimes even love the process. Mario knows the counterweight quite well. A German immigrant raised by a single parent and meager means, he’s been mindful of the counterbalance concept his entire life. In fact, I know Mario is always expecting it — he’s anticipating it and always preparing for it.  In Mario’s words, “Giving up is easy.  You need time. You need staying power. You need to keep going when things get hard.”

I agree with Mario. And I agree with Brianne, too. “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” …truly is bullshit. Life’s counterweight is real.

How you prepare for it and how you respond to it is what ultimately determines the arc of your story. It defines who you are.

- RW

--> This essay is part of a series published in collaboration with The Western Writers League. Take a few minutes to explore my peers’s work as well.

The Steelhead Bath by Chris Corbin

How To Keep Going On Your Side Project When Things Get Hard by Mario Schulzke

Magic Popsicles and the Importance of Taking Breaks

A version of this essay was originally published by Forbes.com on August 8th, 2019

My family and I recently enjoyed three nights at a Japanese onsen resort on the bank of Lake Chuzenji, tucked away in the mountains of Nikko National Park, Japan. This onsen, and others like it, exist because of the natural hot springs in the region. The water from these hot springs — which has long been believed to have healing and rejuvenating properties — is piped into pools for resort guests to enjoy. These pools are known as onsens.

Lake Chuzenji, Nikko National Park, Japan

Steeped in tradition, Kai Nikko is a place where people go to rest, relax and rejuvenate in the water from the hot springs. I was deeply struck by how simple and minimal the place was — yet so beautifully ornate and full of meaning. The pace is intentionally slow, and the vibe is wonderfully quiet, contemplative and mellow. 

Upon arrival, they showed us where to store our shoes and gave us a yukata and sandals to wear for the duration of our stay. The pace is intentionally slow and the vibe is wonderfully quiet, contemplative and mellow throughout the resort.

Kai Nikko Resort, at Lake Chuzenji, Japan

While staying at the resort, we enjoyed the ritual of visiting the onsens three times a day, for 10 minutes at a time, each occasion providing a welcome break in the day. There’s something special about a ritual of interrupting the day to soak, rest, be quiet and delve into a relaxed, meditative self-care experience. It really spoke to me — it was so simple, yet such a powerful experience. And at the same time, it was such a foreign concept to our daily lives back home.

Typically onsens have gender separated soaking pools, sometimes indoors and sometimes outdoors, highlighting unique Japanese design aesthetics. The pools are about two feet deep and vary in style and design. I was surprised to learn people traditionally soak for only about ten minutes at a time. Custom also dictates a quiet, almost meditative kind of experience. No devices. No talking. No splashing around. Just a time to relax and be still.

An onsen at Kai Nikko Resort at Lake Chuzenji, Japan

This particular onsen includes a surprise for guests in its lounge area outside the dressing rooms. Adjacent to the giant pastel-colored beanbag chairs that are scattered about on a slightly elevated platform is a small, unassuming wood-paneled freezer full of popsicles. I’ll never forget that little freezer of popsicles. 

As I peeled the plastic wrapper off, holding the small wooden stick in my hand, I fell back into an oversized beanbag chair. For a moment, I was in a dreamy, childlike state, and I wasn’t alone. As I looked around, I saw people of every kind — children, parents and even seniors — all reclining in beanbags while enjoying a popsicle with pure delight on their faces. So many smiles. So much joy.

Reflecting on the experience, it would’ve been too easy for people to exit the pools and just return to their busy days. But the resort has created an unexpected opportunity with the beanbag chairs and popsicles. It’s as if they created a portal to a magical place where busy, focused, highly productive adults rarely venture.  

The freezer full of Magic Popsicles at Kai Onsen resort in Japan.

The magic popsicles call out, like sirens to Ulysses, beckoning passersby to slow down, sink deep into the chairs and do nothing but enjoy a simple treat. Somewhere amidst the simplest of life’s experiences, I discovered a little something for my soul. And maybe a life lesson for all leaders and high achievers.

Consider this: How often do you go for a midday soak in a pool? How often do you sink deep into a comfy chair to enjoy a popsicle? How often do get up from your desk to create a little break in the day? What’s holding you back? What’s the story you’re telling yourself? 

According to Psychology Today, “working for long stretches without breaks leads to stress and exhaustion.” When I stop to think deeply about it, I wonder if maybe we’ve all gone mad. I traveled halfway around the world to experience the revelation of a 10-minute midday soak. I crossed more than half a dozen time zones to encounter a freezer of popsicles. I don’t think it should be this hard. 

As I type this, the sun beckons me to step outside and take a short walk to a juice truck parked down the street. When I quiet my mind, I notice a subtle, mysterious force reaching out to me and encouraging me to take a little time amidst my busy day to unplug and reset. Time to walk. Time to sit and be still. Time to close my eyes and daydream. 

When’s the last time you intentionally daydreamed? What’s stopping you?

Why do we sit at our desks so much, staring into glowing screens? Why do we let bottomless email inboxes give us stress and hold us hostage? Why do we hold so tightly to our cell phones all day? Why does it seem impossible to take a break and go for a short walk? Why does a popsicle break sound so ridiculous?

More importantly, what if we didn’t live this way? Are we evolving or are we devolving? What if we made more time for walks, soaks and popsicles? How might it impact the quality of our work? How might it improve the quality of our lives? 

One writer summarized the benefits of taking breaks in this Scientific American article: “Downtime replenishes the brain’s stores of attention and motivation, encourages productivity and creativity, and is essential to both achieve our highest levels of performance and simply form stable memories in everyday life. … Moments of respite may even be necessary to keep one’s moral compass in working order and maintain a sense of self.”

I have two hourglasses in my office: a big one and a small one. The big one lasts for 30 minutes, and I’ve found that most projects and meetings can be accomplished in 30 or 60-minute intervals. The hourglass provides a tangible, visual gauge of how much time I have to work with. Sometimes I game-ify things, hustling to accomplish my work before the sand runs out, which always feels good. The smaller hourglass lasts for 10 minutes — the perfect length of time for a short break between tasks.

So how can you get started on incorporating more downtime into your day? I’ve found that establishing a regular time on the calendar (with a reminder alert) for a daily walk can create a reliable structure and rhythm to lean into. It’s also helpful to have an accountability partner, a colleague or perhaps a friend, along with a regular destination, like a juice truck or a cafe, to help create a daily ritual. Once it becomes a ritual, it can evolve into something habitual — and that’s when it sticks. That’s when transformation can happen.

I also have a colleague who set-up a #Meditation channel on our company’s Slack app. Periodically whenever anyone is feeling that internal call to disconnect and reset, someone will post an invitation to the channel and organize a little impromptu 10-20 minute meditation session. Everyone is welcome and anyone can join, and I’ve found sometimes there’s an added human/spiritual effect by doing it with a small group of friends or colleagues. We’ve got a couple places around the office quiet enough for meditation, in addition to one dedicated medication/yoga/stretching area, outfitted with mats, bolsters and poufs for folks to use.

As you can see, there’s many different possibilities for low impact, easy to access opportunities for breaks — which when you think deeper out it, these are actually daily opportunities for improved health, increased performance, growth and transformation. 

I also just ordered a small freezer for the office. It’s big enough for about 100 popsicles.

-RW

A version of this essay was originally published by Forbes.com on August 8th, 2019

--> This essay is part of a series published in collaboration with The Western Writers League. Take a few minutes to explore my peers’s work as well.

I Have Flaws by Chris Corbin

Disclaimer: My Life Is Not Perfect by Mario Schulzke

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